Do you ever overthink things? Worry about being worried about something? Worry about something that hasn’t happened? Well, that’s me. The overthinker I call myself.
I worry about being chased. Being alone. Being trapped. I’m afraid of the dark. Or as a friend once told me, I’m afraid of what’s in the dark. My imagination has a mind of its own and most times, not in a good way. It’s irrational and I’m too old to be jumping at shadows or dark spaces. But here I am, a cowardly adult. Well, I’ve only officially entered adulthood for over a year, so give me some slack.
Sometimes I imagine myself in the future. Will I be happy? Do I have a job? A lover, perhaps? I get ahead of myself most of the time and I just work myself up for absolutely no reason. I can write it down here on my blog right now rationally. But when it happens, I just can’t control it. I wish that I could be as laid back as my friends, who don’t seem to worry about much. Just enjoying life and let it take you on a ride, as they say.
It’s easy to put on a facade and pretend that everything’s okay when on the inside, I doubt myself all the time. Numbing my brain with music, movies and games are the only way to shut these thoughts up. So I’ll just do that, for my imagination is not a nice place to be.