I have been debating with myself about whether I should stop swearing. It’s a bad habit of mine. Well, at least some people think so. I’m still on the fence on this one.
Maybe because I’m a girl? So I’m not supposed to swear? A lot of people have this preconception of girls where we’re not supposed to do this, not supposed to say that and we’re expected to act a certain way. Being Asian doesn’t really help matters. Most of whom I’ve met so far (not everyone, just most), either don’t swear or they dislike hearing it. Alright, I get that. It’s just that some of them admonish me when I curse and some of them would gasp and glance at me with shock. That makes me really insecure. Is it that bad? I don’t really go “f**k you”, I just say, “f**cking hell, it’s hot.”
I censor myself when I’m with people that I’m not close to and also around people who are older than me. I mean, I don’t go around cursing for absolutely no reason. Cursing just sounds and feels satisfying when I want to express myself. It’s just that sometimes I feel that maybe I’m too rough? Or I’m just not lady-like enough? Is that a thing?
I’ve been trying to limit my swearing and so far it’s been working when I leave the house. However, once I’m back to familiar territory and I’m just with my best friend, the swearing comes back. Oh my God, this is hard. I mean, it shouldn’t be such a big deal but maybe because I feel this uncomfortable feeling of being judged all the time and it’s making me re-think my behaviour and the manner I hold myself.
Well, I can always try to improve myself and hopefully for the better. Not sure how my efforts of not swearing is gonna turn out but at least I tried!